A series of exciting initiatives await Islanders when the Coop opens its new store later this month.
Situated on the former site of the JEP, Coop Five Oaks will feature an innovative melange of trail-brazing technology aimed at maximising the shopping experience for customers of all ages. Here is just a small selection of the many interactive experiences that are in-store for customers in the store...
We’ve all heard of the term ‘cattle market’, right? Well, hold onto your trolleys because here comes Jersey’s first ever ‘cattle supermarket’.
Yes, Coop Five Oaks is going to have several in-store Jersey cows on location at all times. Bred locally, the cloven-hooved herbivores will be on hand/hoof to ensure customers receive only the freshest milk, with in-store ‘milk extraction experts’ (farmers) available to help with the all-important milking process.
Better yet, the cows will each be fed a unique diet to ensure that they produce a variety of different flavours of milk, from chocolate and strawberry to banana milkshake – and all while maintaining the Coop’s complete and ‘udder’ commitment to providing the best quality dairy produce.
And why stop at cows? Coop Five Oaks will also have a number of trees growing in-store, with customers able to pick their five-a-day fresh from the branches. Apples, pears, peaches, plums, pomegranates – you name it, Coop Five Oaks will have it growing on a tree (provided you don’t name durians or jujubes).
In addition, there will be an in-store allotment, replete with UV lighting and a multitude of freshly grown vegetables. And a shed. It’s all part of the Coop’s can-(avoca)do attitude to offering only the freshest fruit and vegetables.
We all like to receive service with a smile – but how about super-duper-speedy service with a smile? Well, customers at Coop Five Oaks will be guaranteed exactly that because, as part of an all-new uniform, staff members will each be given a pair of top-of-the-range roller skates to wear while at work, thus enabling them to hurtle up and down the aisles faster than you can say, “ooh, could you fetch me a tin of canned mangoes as well please?” And the skating footwear will be just one of several ‘wheel’-y exciting modes of transport on offer, with electric scooters, skateboards, pogo sticks and even space hoppers available for staff to use.
Do you struggle to reach certain items while shopping? Fear not because Coop Five Oaks will be installing a number of high-quality trampolines to enable staff and shoppers alike to reach those elusive top shelves. B-boing!!
And the fun continues even when it comes to paying for your goods. Don’t believe us? Then wait until you ‘check-out’ our new sound-activated tills. Aimed at helping younger shoppers with learning and providing older shoppers with a good laugh, the tills will produce a specific sound effect in relation to each individual product. For instance, the tills will moo when scanning milk, bark when scanning dog food, belch loudly when scanning fizzy drinks and – oh yes! – break wind when scanning toilet rolls. It has yet to be decided what noise they will make when scanning boxes of Kleenex, however.
Last but not least, Coop Five Oaks will be paying tribute to the heritage of the site by offering vintage copies of the JEP from 1977, which was the year in which the newspaper first moved to the area. Throughout the first 12 months, Islanders visiting Coop Five Oaks will not only be able to pick up a copy of the latest JEP, but they will also be able to catch up on all the news, sport and hot goss from 1977, whether its Islanders queuing up to watch Confessions of a Driving Instructor at the Forum Cinema, Islanders queuing up to watch Confessions of a Window Cleaner at the New Era Cinema or Showaddywaddy wowing the crowds at Fort Regent.
Read more about Coop Five Oaks and other in-store innovations in tomorrow’s JEP.
(p.s. this was an April fools!)